New Year's Resolution

My New Year's resolution is to hold open doors for those walking behind me. I hold open doors currently, don't get me wrong, but I need to improve my skill in this area. Really elite Door Openers make it look so easy, but maybe they have some special advantages:

1) Eyes on the backs of their heads. My current status as a rank amateur requires me to spin around to see who is behind me when approaching a door. This is awkward. Maybe it would be less so if I wore a tutu and worked in some arabesques, but how impractical and timeconsuming. Recently, I did learn a trick but it works only if the door is glass: I check out the reflection of the area behind me. Progress!

2) Superior Depth Perception. For twenty minutes, I stand there holding open a door for somebody across the parking lot. Often, the object of my politeness is overcome by the impulse to sprint for the entrance and may twist an ankle or trip over their overcoat. My good deed is not considered helpful when this occurs.

3) Ability to Flatten Themselves. When I hold open a door, no one can fit past me. My triceps are burning while the person assesses the possibility of squeezing by at various angles. I am considering switching out my backpack for something less bulky.

Comments

Unknown said…
Regarding #3...

There is a little known rule about opening doors that may save your triceps. I believe your tricep burn comes when you are trying to hold a door open that swings inward, but you stay on the outside insisting that the other person goes in first. This has your arm extended, and creates an accidental intimacy as people try to slide through the doorway with you blocking most of it.

It is perfectly acceptable to enter the door first and easily prop it open with your shoulder, booty, or foot.

This holds true for gentlemen holding doors for ladies,as well. It is not always "Ladies first."
StaceyR said…
Thank you, Cattle.

Please help me with the advanced "foyer with two doors" scenario.