Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I think I cracked my head

I am taking a Jujitsu women's self defense class that pretty much has degenerated into an hour of flagrant street fighting. Yesterday, I got kicked in the face during a demonstration of The Best Way to Avoid Having Your Arm Broken.

But that's not what concerns me; the sneaker really only grazed my cheekbone and it was only a flesh wound. I'm also not too worried about the enormous purple welts on my wrists from when we role-played Getting Dragged Into the Woods and the Full Nelson from Behind Bear Hug Problem.

The incident that sort of concerns me is the one where we were practicing Getting Strangled by Someone Sitting on Top of You. The rule of thumb for that one involves flipping your attacker onto his back and ripping out his nads with a stylish twist. This includes balancing on one's head briefly. While so engaged, I heard a large crack on or about my brain. My grey matter has been throbbing ever since.

But maybe I'm not concerned. Maybe I have tottled into valetudinarian* territory. This occurred to me in the shower without my glasses on. I looked down and saw a spider-like leggy shadow on my foot. Immediately, I felt a piercing sting in the metatarsal region. I felt my foot swell up. I zoomed down for a closer look and realized it wasn't a spider. It was a tiny hairball.

But it still took about twenty minutes for my foot to stop throbbing.

*Word of the Day for Sunday, October 28, 2007

valetudinarian \val-uh-too-din-AIR-ee-un; -tyoo-\, noun:

1. A weak or sickly person, especially one morbidly concerned with his or her health.
2. Sickly; weak; infirm.
3. Morbidly concerned with one's health.
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