Sunday, May 27, 2012

The little ones are fast, fluffy and evil

Well today was a busy day:
  1. Ran 4 miles, minding my own business on the shoulder of the road
  2. Got bitten by a little dog
  3. Screamed "Your fucking little dog bit me" so loud doors opened and neighbors came out on yards
  4. Had a protracted altercation with the old man owner who said things like, "Fluffy didn't really bite you, he just ripped your skin off with his claws."
  5. Ran 4 miles home with blood dripping down my leg
  6. Called the cops
  7. Went to the ER
  8. While waiting at the pharmacy counter for my antibiotics, bought a tube of really excellent Blistex
After that, nothing much happened for the rest of the day except Tom cramped up something fierce and I had to get him a banana. Also, despite a limp arm from the tetanus shot, I am enjoying rehydrated lips protected by a five-star rated UVA/UVB moisture shield.

(Apropos tetanus shots, the last time I achieved one, Tom and I were administering intravenous fluids to a cat. The IV bag hook slipped off the top of the Nordic Track and I skewered my index finger.)

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Avengers : My report, etcetera

First off, Loki rules. Really zesty. Definitely put me in a blue funk when he got hauled back to Asgård in a space-age hannibal lector mask. Spoiler alert, there.

Seriously. What do those Avengers know from badass?
  1. Loki had by far the best outfit. Lots of supple black leather bespoke tailoring.
  2. Slithering toothy reptile ships are fucking magnificent.

Thor might have had the best outfit if it was a much smaller outfit. Are you kidding me with the maxi-vest? By the Power of Greyskull show us your abs. It will distract us from your curiously inert dialogue.

It was 3d surreal walking out of the theater onto 23rd Street after watching midtown get its clock cleaned for two hours.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Thunderbolts and Lightning at Lip Syncho de Mayo!

I thought taking on Billy Jean in 2009 was some kind of brinksmanship, but the Bohemian Rhapsody? Bite my spandex bewinged ass! Freddy Mercury is to lip synching what the Sally who met Harry is to orgasms. After I finally figured out Andrew was not dressed up as Aerodynamic Harry Houdini, I marveled at the sizable sack of balls required to tackle such a big Queen.

Finding the caliente in Andrew's 2012 magnum opus was like finding hay in a haystack. Here's my short list:

1) I liked the tufts of artisinal chest hair. I like it when a spandex unitard comes kitted out with a deep V-neck and ravenous fur.

Shot of Andrew's pre-show desk, courtesy of MJG.
2) What foxed me was the Beelzebub sidekick posse over on the side. They popped in like a demonic bold flash powerpoint animation.

3) I liked the stage swathed in darkness. It smelled like anticipation.

4) I liked the florescent aria and the cross-over fake piano spirochetes. Even Scaramouch would appreciate the general fandango.

5) Gymnastics. Suspenders. Mustache.

It was a spectacular junket well crafted by the titans of the lip synch. Although I still have no idea what that song is about.