Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Raccoon Chronicles: Tom Employs High Technology

(If you haven't already, you might want to check out the The original Raccoon Chronicles first.)

"To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower."
~ Carl Spackler

Tom Purchases Critter Blaster Pro Electronic Animal Repellent

"This device is laboratory tested. It is ultrasonic. I got it online. The Pro version."

"I think it emits a high frequency sound that humans can't hear. There are little pictures of animals around a dial. I selected RACCOON."

"If I set it really low, I can upset insects."

"I think the RACCOON setting might also be the CAT setting. So I'm going to put it on a timer so it turns on at night."

"Take that, little bastards."
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