Saturday, January 05, 2008

Cardiologist Fires Patient for Rampant Inquisitiveness : An Investigative Report

Working himself into a kerkuffle, Noel H Ballentine MD fires my dad, his patient, for allegedly asking far too many questions. The good doctor does not appreciate reckless meddling into the status of one's own health.

Proving he's no bedside chatterbot, Dr. Ballentine avoids more annoying "discussion" by doing the firing over email:
I am thinking at this point that I am not the right doctor for [you]. I do not feel trusted, or appreciated. I think it is time for [you] to find another physician ...

Then Dr. Ballentine and his crazy fightin' fingers really go wild west:
It would be my strong suggestion that [you] find a practice other than [the Hershey Medical Center]. I would not want to be in the position of having to cover for another physician in the future.

Let me boldly paraphrase: "This enormous hospital ain't big enough for the both of us. Since I work here, you need to get the hell out of dodge."

My pop, never one to back down from a fist fight, writes a rebuttal email counter-firing Dr. Ballentine. Pop says he doesn't feel comfortable going to a physician who possesses such low self-esteem, and/or who is so frequently remonstrated that he immediately construes questions as mistrustful attacks.

The story has a happy ironically twisted ending.

Dr. Ballentine failed to notice some heavy-duty aortic stenosis that showed up on pop's lab report. He let my dad travel to the remote outback of Alaska. Where Dad uneventfully passed out a few times.

Luckily, Pop made it home alive and paid a visit to a new doctor. Who took one look at the earlier lab report and immediately snapped my dad's ass to the hospital for a lifesaving valve replacement.
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