- Foaming soap that does not foam, but splooges into your hand like half-rabid Smeagol spit.
- Salmonheads who refuse to stand aside to let the people get off the subway before they push their way onto the subway. Way to create a completely unnecessary melee of full-frontal collisions! I paid to ride the E train, not participate in a fucking sumo wresting pick up game. Luckily, I’ve noticed the culprits are inevitably a squad of fat girls in bedazzled shooties so you can always stomp on their toes.
- People who fancy themselves stoic and warrior-like yet suffer from frequent episodes of quiet whimpering and resolutely do nothing to attenuate their tragic contretemps, which may or may not involve the 1 train, movie selections and/or vegetarian tacos.
- Citizens on a crowded escalator who stand to the left like solid walls of ass barricading those of us with places to go, people to see attempting to hurry past them.
- Multi-packs of toilet paper sold on soap.com that look normal in the pictures but are actually sized about right for a barbie dream house or an aborigine powder room. Are you kidding me? I clutched a 12-pack of double ply in one shaking fist. Read the fine print, wary consumers because images may not be shown to scale on soap.com