Thursday, January 16, 2014

A Review of My Most Regrettable Review in 2013

I will begin with a damning photograph. Here is the inside of my dishwasher when I opened it up expecting to see a sparkling load of clean dishware:




Next, I will show you a photograph of the detergent employed in the achievement of the above fiasco. Please glance to the right. 


Of course, I immediately snapped into action and wrote a scathing review on Drugstore.com. I accused Arm&Hammer of shilling a substandard chunk of a product that clots like an oxygen-starved deep vein embolism on the door of my dishwasher.


I stated with lavish fervor that all my still-not-clean dishes were now coated with a thin film of calcified white foam, reminiscent of nuclear fallout.


I wrote something about how the only thing accomplished was turning my dishwasher into a bacteria pleasure palace.


Bam. I closed up my computer and threw out the rest of the Crystal Burst.


Several weeks later, I received a spam-style email from drugstore.com notifying me that the Crystal Burst was now on sale. In fact, all the laundry detergents were 15% off for the month.


Oh.
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