Waiting to Get There. Usually on the A/C/E in Chelsea, New York City.

No one would ever accuse me of being slightly OCD because slightly is an adjective I rarely manage to achieve. Right now I'm all over CraigsList again. But this time, I'm the buyer. I got the crazy flipper fingers scrolling through lists of used furniture and household oddities at least twice a day. Ha ha, you know I meant every twelve minutes. When I hit refresh, bloop bloop bloop, day or night, new posts dance before my eyes like sugar plum fairies. Good clean fun only available within densely populated areas. All these things I never dreamed I could drag home for such small scheckle. So far, I've bought Christmas lights ($10), an electric disco ball ($10), a fuzzy rug ($90), an iron ($5), a fancy teapot ($20) and aromotherapy essentials ($5). This is where the hangers come in. The ad said the hangers were new, wooden, 80 for $30. I asked if I could get 40ish for $15. Seller agreed to the terms. Except she had a trick up her mild-mannered sleeve. I had to throw away my la...

Date: 11/25/08 Found: One Dime in Second Floor Ladies Room, 1719 Route 10 East, Parsippany NJ. Current Status: In back right pants pocket of brown chinos, hanging in closet at residence.

What I find most remarkable about the tourists walking on the sidewalk in Manhattan, god bless their economic contribution, is their solid refusal to accept that they are not riding in a car. They are nakedly vehicle-less on the crowded streets, meandering along sandwiched between millions of us actually trying to get someplace on time. Current Working Hypothesis: Tourists in denial: although on foot, retain delusion they are somehow in automobile. Two Preliminary Observations Supporting Hypothesis: Families cluster on the sidewalk as if they were enclosed by a four-door sedan. Dad on left, mom on right, two kids in the back. Out-of-towner discussions ensue as if occurring inside a car with the windows rolled up. Case Study: Fanny-pack woman on a street corner waiting for light to change waves around a map and exclaims, "Where are we? I think the Empire State Building must not be on this street. I said we should have turned back there." Her husband replies, "No, I think ...

Power Tools with less than 10,000 rpm motors Big Black Houseflies in autumn Decisions made by a committee Tourists on the sidewalk in midtown Skis in deep wet powder Nightfall in mid-summer Robitussin pouring into the little dosing cup The Acceptance of Change Karma going around and coming around Tractors on the highway

I had a little problem with truancy growing up. There were key reasons for this: School started hella early. I had largely figured out how to successfully stay under the radar and not go to school, or not go to school until after lunch period, at least three days a week. So showing up at 0-dark-hundred hours for the other two days really cut into my busy schedule, as well as disrupted my biorhythms. I had fifteen periods of graphic art shop a week my senior year and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep myself entertained. In case you haven't figured this out by now, we lived in bumfuck. The same percentage of my graduating class went to college as went to jail. There were no AP classes, no fun electives, no clubs (except 4H) and the principal would at one point be hospitalized for mental instability. Avoiding school attendance is actually easier than you might imagine. Mostly, the trick is in the planning. You have to put on your Dr. Evil cap early... as in the year befor...

Date: 11/15/08 Found: One Dime in back pocket of pants purchased at HousingWorks Sample Sale on 17th Street Current Status: Still in same pants pocket. Date: 11/14/08 Found: One Nickel near Cashier 26 at Whole Foods on 7th Ave by 25th Street. Current Status: Gave to bartender in lobby of Rubin Museum as part of tip for good Mohito.

Today is National Corduroy Day. Hail the Wale! I did not indulge in any festivities. Frankly there were none. Celebrating is such a waste of time anyway, I used the hours and got busy with some more productive endeavors. Like I took a moment to ascertain the contents of my desk at work in a proactive fashion. Seems I've collected one entire drawer full of extra footwear. Mostly sneakers, but a few clogs wormed their way into the mix. Sometimes an office worker just needs an emergency change of shoes and it is important to be fully prepared. Either that or my shoes at home are escaping the lousy closet conditions by migrating to my office. I also have a drawer full of cereal (hot & cold), a drawer mostly full of pants and another drawer where I store papers people have given me which don't really look that interesting. The papers are organized chronologically, oldest on the bottom. I'm thinking when the drawer fills up I'll probably recycle them.

On January 5, 1970, my great-grandfather, Louis, dropped dead from a heart attack at the corner of 7th Avenue and 28th Street. He had just come from the subway. Personally, I would never take the subway to 28th Street, as this would require the #1 train and everybody knows yo' mamma can waddle faster than the #1 train. My great-tseidy must have hopped the #2 into Manhattan from his apartment in the Bronx, and then switched at Penn Station on 31st. Why he just didn't schlepp the last three blocks on the sidewalk confounds me. Maybe it was really cold out. Over the summer, I was taking my own advice and clipping down 7th streetside, when I spied a lost penny on or about the historic 28th street block. I picked it up. It turned out to be a 1942 Wheat Penny. The scene was very dramatic in my own mind. I toted the penny home and lined it up in a row of other important streetfinds: two large washers, and two bolts, one of them hollow. I had a few words with my Uncle George, a numisma...