Waiting to Get There. Usually on the A/C/E in Chelsea, New York City.

Photo Credit: mehershad.wordpress.com /2007/12/21/more-funny-pics/ A few weeks ago, we were in the Verizon store picking up a new phone. It took four (4) hours. Midway through recalculating the cost of our data plan, Allen, the Verizon guy, stops, his pen poised in the air. He exclaims, "Hey, I have a deal for you. If you get an Android tablet and you get 2 gigs of additional data, then it will cost you $120 less." Tom's eyebrows take on a curl of suspicion. He confirms, "you're not just giving us an Android tablet and 2 extra gigs for free, you're actually paying us $120 to take them off your hands."  Allen nods his head.  Later, when we told Andy about our Verizon-filled afternoon, he surmised, "So basically you spent 1/2 hour getting the details of the deal straight and 3 1/2 hours trying to figure out the catch."  Well put, Andy. And as result of the Verizon Suss-Out-The-Truth-in-Advertising Challenge, I have become

There's a website called CourseHorse with like ten thousand adult school classes. You can learn to make kasha varnishkes or ride a horse or reupholster your couch. There's a whole section for writing classes . I decide to take one, mainly because I've never taken a writing class before and, judging by this blog, it's probably fairly evident I have no idea what I'm doing.  Most of the class listings I discard based on my only two selection criteria— a solid mid-morning start time, and a location that does not require me to board a subway line I find annoying. I settle on a 10am class that is eighteen blocks from our apartment. Perfect.  Energetic and Motivated Gotham City Writers Photo credit: whatsgoodinny.com/ 2014/01/calling-all-creative-writers-get.html The class gets off to a rocky start. A Gotham City Writer guy tells me "goodies" are for the taking in the lobby. I envision coffee and maybe a tiny muffin with raisins. My hopes flatten

M&Ms. Since when do they taste like chalk with a crunchy exoskeleton? It's like eating a handful of flashy beetles that have been dehydrated with their legs amputated. That 2nd bag of Vanilla tea from Harney & Sons.  The second bag did not live up to my memory of the first bag.  The new Karen O disk. You'd need to be really into Pippi Longstocking cosplay to get it up for a second listen. (Nonetheless my girlcrush on Karen O stands strong.) Jeffrey Campbell Boots from NastyGal. The city ripped them to shreds, the posers. Online, they looked stoic enough to take on this town. Nothing doing. They wilted like a bug-eyed tourist completely unraveled by a sweltering 6 train platform at rush hour. Such a disappointment. Completely disappointing Jeffrey Campbell boots purveyed by NastyGal iPads and iPhones and Computer Monitors. All this blue light terrorizing my humanoid biorhythms. Tom said there's an app for that. I'll be looking