Waiting to Get There. Usually on the A/C/E in Chelsea, New York City.

In case you didn't know, Grant Wood was the one-hit wonder who painted American Gothic: American Gothic by Grant Wood. Grant Wood's other works are obscure. Perhaps for a reason. At the solo exhibit at the Whitney, this painting caught my attention: Grant Wood painting of George Washington I stared at the central theme - a young George Washington brandishing an ax after cutting down his pop's cherry tree. "I cannot tell a lie," he blabbers. This tell-all gambit seems like a totally straightforward best move, given that young George has just been caught brandishing an ax in the middle of the yard.  Let's zoom in on the action: Zooming in on young George And tighter: What head? Aha. Now I see what is so peculiar. If little George is so smart, why is he out cutting down cherry trees in satin Tory Burch ballet slippers? Not only are these a genuinely bad idea for ax-work, but they're also a crappy get-away choice. ...

Speaking of things not to do if there's someone sitting behind you ... Some lady on the plane back from Cuba Let me turn your attention to air travel, specifically civilized air travel. One rule of etiquette might be: Do not rub your fingers all over the screen on the back of your seat. I don't understand the contortions necessary for this sort of rear overhead relaxation. I envision the armpit in the stewardess's face though. "And ma'am, what would you like to drink..." cough cough cough. I showed the above photo to someone and they said I should have leaned forward and licked her thumb. I would have considered this course of action had it not sounded so truly unhygienic.