March is the month for birthdays of important people. Some of these people are notoriously slippery and camera shy, which is why the press has only been able to locate one photo on file.
What one word describes you right now?
Magari. That's Italian. In case you didn't know.
What does that mean?
I'll tell you later.*
Very cryptic. Any highlights of this year in your life?
I got a Sgt Pepper coat. I love it. It is beige with red trim. I also went to Ireland.
On a Magical Mystery Tour?
Interesting. I happen to know that you, being one quarter Italian and one half Jewish, appreciate food. Can you comment on your favorite fare over the past 12 months?
I like mushy tart food. Always have. I decided I don't really like meat. Or hoagies, generally. I figured out how to buy meat in small enough portions so Robbie can have his own portion and I can eat something else.
Is there anything else you would like to mention about your heritage?
I don't need a GPS in my car because Italians are natural navigators.
Which is why Columbus named the inhabitants of the New World "Indians." I can see that. What has been your favorite color this year?
Melissa interjecting: What kind of stupid question is that?
This is what we call "color commentary." Melissa.
My favorite color is purple and it has been since I've been a little girl.
What are you going to do on your birthday?
Have dinner at my mom's. Get a facial. Do lesson plans.
* The word magari is often translated as let's hope so, I wish, would that it were true, or even perhaps.