Friday, May 25, 2007

Pants Emergency down at the Traction Line Trail

Today, I quadlined, all according to a late-breaking plan. Quadlining is not rollerskating. The 100mm jumbo wheels and rear shock absorber constitute a different sport. The Pants Emergency came as a surprise.

The Pants Emergency

Despite my lack of gym bag, I could not be detered. I saddled up in a pair of chinos. And smooth sailing until my belt malfunctioned. Then the dire portion of this segment commenced.

Andrew-Star : Not as Customer-Service Oriented as Tracie-Star

I dialed Tracie-Star, but the line was busy. Tracie-Star had successfully come to the rescue during a recent ill-fated attempt to get to Chatham vis a vis back roads. So I tried Andrew-Star on the cell. Originally, I had three requests:
  1. Headphones
  2. Water
  3. Pants (that stay up)
My priorities straightened themselves out by the time Andrew-Star picked up and I forgot about requests 1 & 2. Andrew-Star refused to come over and skate with me, claiming that he was "packing for Mexico" but this was after he already told me he was "playing games" on his pink fuzzy computer. I quickly realized a veritable chocolate fondue fountain of shenanigans was afoot.

Because I still harbored hope of capturing a pair of pants in my golden lasso of persuasion, I remained silent about the double-dealing. Then my cell phone went dead and all hope was lost so I tied my belt in a knot and hit the trail.


The Mayor of the Traction Line Trail

David is the Mayor of the Traction Line Trail. He skates in the briefest black shorts and not much else. Last year, a chocolate lab bit him in the ass. David and I skated 7.5 miles and he introduced me to his constituency of walkers, runners and bikers.

The Mayor was kind enough to overlook my pants problem. He knows a thing or two about revealing one's beduncadunk.
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