Lip-Syncho De Mayo

Competition smacked fierce at the recent Lip Syncho De Mayo throwdown held at Heezie o' Tracie/Andrew. From corruption of minors to headfur, lacy pants and faggamuffinry, the silent singers busted moves of many colors.

Based on the fanatical audience response to their rendition of "Polka Your Eyes Out" by Weird Al Jancovic, Andrew and Marc have decided to take the act on the asphalt.

Inevitably, they will be interviewed by the local media across the nation. Because I am full-on charitable, I have agreed to be their press agent.

In this capacity, I have prepared a list of crib note responses to the questions the two Boy Wonders may be asked by disk jockeys and other broadcasters. This way, the dialogue will stay on track:

1. Thanks so much for having us on your show. What was your favorite part of our performance and why?
2. That's an interesting question, but I'm sure your audience is more curious about whether you think we are more talented than The Henry Rollins Band.
3. Yes of course. We'll stop by when we're in town again. Hey, so we love tuna tar-tar, velvet garments, hickory planks, and Dem Bones Black Bones yo-yo gear. What are your favorite things?
4. I know you have to break for commercial, but before we go... which of my haircuts do you prefer-- the hairy one or the ivory dome look?