Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Hazards of Projectile Splooge in the Garden

As if bird flu and ticks weren't enough, along comes even riskier business.

Danger, Will Robinson

Our backyard is perilous. Everyone recognizes the need for caution. The next door neighbor helpfully informed Tom that if we needed the name of a good landscaping service, he would be happy to step up with a recommendation. He concerns himself with our safety. Warm fuzzies all around.

The Scene of the Incident

The mulch heap is hairy. Three years ago, we bought a lot of mulch. We still have it piled up in the driveway. I was trying to get rid of it. Actually mulch something.

That's when it happened. Whilst shoveling, I ran across a large white larvae with a red head.

Special Squashing Technique

I employ a sophisticated strategy for eradicating pestilents. I pick up them up and throw them onto a hard surface. Then I smash them with a shovel.

It has always worked well. Except this time, not so lucky.

Like a Powdered Chocolate Munchkin

Mucilaginous larvae juice squirted out all over my shirt and neck area. Oddly, you'd expect the splooge of a white larvae to be white. It is not. It is grody brown.

On the internet, I learned that this species of red-headed larvae metamorphesizes into this monkey:

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