Super Shopper Tom is on Acme's mailing list. He locked up a serious price-slashing coupon: $10 off any shopping bill $160 or more. We never spend close to $160 at the grocery store. We rarely eat at home.
No matter. Tom dedicated himself to making it happen. He was going to cash in on that coupon savings if he had to buy a twelve pack of low sodium V8, every flavor of jello and some really exotic fruit. As well as a fantastic quantity of candy resplendent in its Halloween-themed ginormous container. It was too big to fit in the kitchen, so I put it outside where it quietly compressed the porch into the earth.
On the big day, trick or treaters were sparse in our hood. There were exactly two, to be exact: a duo consisting of the Grim Reaper and his sister, Scary Cheerleader. With great enthusiasm and a lot of holiday spirit I unloaded a solid forty pounds of candy into each of their colorful pumpkin sacks. I hope they have a shed.