My Mother's Shit List: East Coast Plumbing Suppliers

I want a Dual Flush Toilet. Eight-tenths of a gallon flush for liquids and 1.6 gallon flush for solids.

All over Australia and New Zealand, I saw the Dual Flush Toilet. All over Europe: Dual Flush Toilets. They come standard.

The one I picked out is this Aussie Dual Flush. Excellent reviews.

On the west coast, you get a rebate if you buy a low flow toilet. $150 back. Not like in PA. I went to the plumbing supply in town and the guy told me the Dual Flush Toilet does not even exist.

What is it, a figment of my imagination? I told him I saw plenty of Dual Flushes with my own two eyes and he gave me this annoyed look and refused to help me anymore.

He's on my shit list. All the plumbing suppliers around here are on my shit list. Including Lowe's. I went there too.

This is ridiculous. This is crazy. We all have water problems. The Dual Flush Toilet has excellent engineering, not like the old low flow toilets. All they did before is just make the tanks smaller. Idiots. Of course that was not a good plan. I'm not an engineer and I even know that.

We all need a new kind of toilet. These toilets are the same as we've been using since forever. But people don't care. Too bad the children will pay for the buoyancy of their parents' shit.

If I can find a Dual Flush Toilet in NJ, I could put it in the car and take it home.