Sunday, January 13, 2013

My Magical Week

So far, in 2013:

Campbell Apartment
  • With no introductory small talk of any kind, I informed two strangers at the very fancy Campbell Apartment on 42nd Street that I have nightmares about losing my cell phone. Both muttered sympathetically and may have considered patting me on the shoulder had I not darted off with their cocktail menu.
  • I heard a distinguished gentleman call a mouse in a mouse competition an "ivory satin buck" and describe this mouse as being "racy," "manly," "hairy of foot," and "in lovely condition."
  • A client mentioned he once was arrested for pushing a wrecked Suburban SUV over the border in Tijuana.
  • I met three random Italians and said to each the only Italian phrase I know: "The chair is upholstered in corduroy." One was impressed, two were not.
  • Over some Caribbean chicken, a doctor we know brought us up to speed on his latest research investigating the impact of penis size amongst gay and bisexual men. I fucking love science.
  • I asked someone how to say, "non-raping tranny pirates" in Swedish.
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