Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Chair I Bought for Swedish Midsummer in Battery Park

I went shopping on Amazon for the perfect Midsommar lawn chair. I wanted a canopy because the sun in Battery Park will boil you like a crawfish in a pot of aquavit. The chair arrived.

Someone on Amazon said that it folded up into a "backpack." I don't see it.

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Oh but wait. Who needs a convenient carry option when there is, behold, a CD holder!


I had to study these directions carefully to insure I did not egregiously install this important feature backwards.


Maybe I did it wrong. These CDs do not seem to fit. Whatevs. Even if I can't pop a little Seal into my Walkman, I will still roll up one pant leg of my Girbaud jeans, bleach my hair, rock a Triple 5 Soul hoody and get down with my bad self. While remaining well-hydrated under my own personal canopy because I suspect the cupholder may prove the best of the bonus features.


Hop like little frogs ye sunburned masses!
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