I have invented "The Plarf" - A Plane-Ready Scarf

Action Shot of the Amazing Plarf. Tom is a major fan of my invention.

I got a few moves when it comes to air travel. I get in my seat and make certain preparations. I remove my shoes and put on one of the 80 pairs of disposable slippers I got off that Turkish Air jet when I crawled around underneath all the seats and extracted any unopened pairs I could find in seat pockets.

Then I tie my head to my chair back with a scarf. See the photo of Tom so affixed. This is a keystone move. I amaze even myself every time I break it out. Your head will remain firmly ergonomic no matter how bloody upright your chair position or how middle your seat.

I take another scarf and tie it around my arms in a figure 8 style affair. You might not appreciate how singularly excellent this move is until you realize that passive aggressively fighting for armrest space is rendered totally unnecessary. This is my humble gift to fat-elbowed armrest desperados everywhere.

I'm like those survivalists who can make a cabin and a five-course tasting menu with only their bare hands and pocket knife. Except I don't need a pocket knife. I only need a pocket square.