After midnight, I was reading a Swedish article on my phone in bed. Tom tucked in beside me snoring lightly. Everything was all sugar plums, soft pillows and curtains-closed stillness.
I read a sentence about a “järv” — something like “the järv bit the guy on the ass.” I found this incredibly confusing because I always thought järv meant “bold." So while I supposed the sentence could mean “the bold guy bit the other guy on the ass” I suspected this was not the case. Luckily, there is google translate.
I clicked over and typed in “järv.”
Well one mystery cleared up, but another still afoot. I have described people as “järv” in conversations. I have heard people described as “järv” in conversations. And by god, I do not believe we were talking about wolverines.
It was then I noticed a little microphone in Google translate. Bingo, I thought. I will speak the word “järv” into the phone, very very quietly. The Google will translate my pronunciation. And I will know if I have been mistakenly calling people wolverines for years.
I clicked the microphone. And Siri shrieked “WOLVERINE” at top volume.
Tom popped out of bed like a horizontal mambo warrior at the ready for blood-letting and night time attacks. I got up and make him camomile tea but he still blamed me for an early morning full of unrequited heart palpitations.
End note: Apparently how you spell bold in swedish is djärv. But the ‘d' is silent. Unlike my telephone and Tom’s ongoing commentary about my telephone and remembering to turn down the volume at night.