Swedish Midsummer in Battery Park 2014

photo credit Consulate General of Sweden in New York

Lots of feet, an ass, another ass, the sky, Andrew's ear, garbled polka music. "It's hard to frolic and take movies at the same time," complains Tom. He sadly deletes his footage of Swedish Midsummer 2014. 

Inarguably it's difficult to capture a thousand swedes holding hands and hopping like little frogs of anarchy. Video simply cannot capture the full impact of the "no ears, no tail" reptile shout out. 

One gripe: WHO EATS POTATO SALAD THREE FEET FROM A MIDSUMMER POLE? It's more dangerous than hang gliding or going to a hospital. Last year, I stepped in plate piled high with potato salad. It was an Extreme Ooze situation and treacherously slippery. I'll never forget the death glare of the ex potato-salad eating woman hunkered down nearby.

After three hundred people skip over your potato salad, just maybe you think to yourself, "huh, perhaps I should not have plunked my ass down in the shadow of the midsummer pole. I see now that I am in a really fucking bad spot. Perhaps I should relocate." 

But apparently that's just me and I'm not a real viking so what do I know about holiday traditional open warfare. 

This year, I wore sneakers and I laced 'em up tight.

The Late, Great Left Eye from TLC

Because his gently booming voice is the only vestige of sanity holding the madness from full eruption, I considered rushing the lead polka singer, Ross Sutter. I would have breathlessly asked if he would autograph my bandaid. I had a mole removed from my face and am currently running around looking like Left Eye from TLC. 

On his website, Ross is billed as a Pole Dance Leader. I'm a fan of that business card.

One of my favorite moments was when dancers were instructed to "Partner up with someone your own height."  Tom swung right by me to take a reel around the pole with Andrew.

If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy Midsummer 2011 recapped here: Heja Sverige! You might also enjoy Andrew's comment immediately upon arrival: "I haven't seen this many white people since that Nelson concert in 1995."

Heja Sverige! Glad Midsommar Allesammans!