Saturday's Cupboard.

This deluptuous Japanese place in Williamsburg is a dim and mysterious labyrinth. We traipsed through narrow corridors and up and down stairs on stepping stones between riverbeds of igneous rocks. It was like a moonlit stroll through the bowels of a fully kitted-out maximum zen walk-up, all low slung with chutes and bamboo ladders.

The waitress led us into a booth with walls floor-to-ceiling. She tucked us in there and rolled down a bamboo privacy shade. Karen, Anna, Tom and I enjoyed warm hand towels inside our own little cupboard. I suffer a fondness for a warm towel, especially when it gets dangled before me on tongs while I am nestled in my own cupboard. 

Moments later, the waitress whisked back. Zip zip, she rolled up our privacy shade, took our towels and explained that if we wanted anything, we should press the buzzer on the edge of the table. She stressed this. If you want anything from the broader world beyond your cupboard, ring for it.

Immediately after we placed our order, somebody had to go to the bathroom and we realized it was impossible to roll up the bamboo screen from the inside the cupboard. I crawled out and hoisted it up once I'd wiggled free. Then I reset it and crawled back in. This occurred several times. We developed a best practice process:

1. One person at the end of the table slithers out.
2. Zips up the shade.
3. Tiny Tanks exits and searches for the bathroom by noodling around in stairwells and flinging aside curtains.
4. Everyone crawls back in the cupboard.

The waitress was too kind to voice what was on her mind. She really really wished she could have trotted out a beautiful line such as: "I owe you an apology. Obviously I was unclear when I said, 'Buzz if you need anything.' It must have sounded like, 'Crawl under the mini-blinds and bang around looking for the bathroom.'

Also, I ate a long-ass chicken meatball using a small paddle.

It's always a fun night when you can debate topics fellow diners feel strongly about, such as:

1. Men who wear gel nail polish like it's 1999 in Boca Raton. Fashion Do or Do Not?
2. Fish Don't Bounce. Fact or Fiction?
3. Skate Ramps in Drinking Establishments. For Patrons or For Show?