And then I found myself in the middle of the Hare Krishna Parade...

After a really lovely brunch at Nix with Kate and Renya, I attempted to walk home. All was going well until I hit 5th Avenue. And when I say "hit 5th Avenue" I mean I hit it like a solid wall of humanity completely decked out all manner of gorgeous saris and scarves and golden tassels.

Turned out to be the Hare Krishna parade. I had previously not realized how many followers of Hare Krishna there are in the New York City metro area.

There did not appear to be any way to cross the avenue. Rolling ever so slowly down the street were these towering red and gold floats with people sitting on them cross legged possibly smoking hookahs. Or maybe it was incense. And all around the floats, flowing over every square inch of the asphalt and sidewalk, a jangle of men, women, children, strollers, kids all marching. Entire family trees turned out for the festivities.

So I joined the parade. It might not be the best plan. It might be more a click-your-heels-twice-and-pray-things-didn’t-go-to-hell sort of plan, but it's my go-to strategy for parade-level street crossing. The idea is to ease into the flow and make my way sort of diagonally. It can take about a block, but sooner or later the crowd deposits you on the other side of the street and you can slip out onto the opposite sidewalk feeling very festive although definitely late to wherever you were going.

The plan was a giant #fail.

First of all, I definitely stood out as not belonging for a whole bunch of reasons. I didn't have the right face paint and I wasn't wearing a sari and I didn't come with twelve family members. Could be causation or correlation but some lady kept knocking my butt with a stroller.

Second of all, as I found out the hard way, the crowd was actually pulling the floats. At the fore of each was a big rope that unfurled for seemingly blocks This rope ran right down the middle of the street, hip height, and probably four thousand people tugged on it.

And so, after managing to hurl myself the whole way into the middle of the street, no dice. I abandoned the plan and returned to the sidewalk from which I had come, just two blocks south.

Plan B was to wait it out curbside. There were so many people parading not only on the street but also on the sidewalk that I'd have been like a sad salmon if I tried to go the opposite direction. So I just kind of stood there for awhile.

Eventually, I saw a break in the parade right after one of the floats went by. I jetted across the street like I was Eminem and this was my one shot. Which is might have been.


No one tried to give me a flower, by the way.

Texts with Mom & Pop after I informed them
about my parading experience.