The Plague Diaries: Day 27 Virtual Birthday Parties - FAQ

Michelle and I discuss virtual birthday parties

When attending a virtual birthday party, do you make your own cake? If you don't make your own cake, the birthday girl will blow out candles and eat cake all by herself.

Something about that feels off.

But if you do make your own cake, I guess you don't put any candles on it. It would be awkward to blow out someone else's birthday candles. I speculate you procure a birthday-style cake, you set it off camera and at the right moment, you reveal your cake and eat it with the girl of the hour.

I'm thinking a quasi-cake would also be appropriate. Like ice cream, pie or a handful of mixed almond M&Ms and D-vitamin gummies. D vitamins are essential for the quarantined.

Alternately, you could just pour yourself another martini. Or one of those tiki drinks you light on fire. Now that would demonstrate exceptional spirit. I wonder how actual fire would look on Zoom. You'd have to watch not to incinerate your keyboard.

Speaking of martinis, here's an upside: I can now drink martinis out of a martini glass like a grown-up!

If I spill vodka and olive juice all over myself, I can simply go and change my shirt. Or, as Michelle said, just towel it off. You control the lighting so who can really tell anyway that your bra just got soaked.

Plus I heard alcohol kills the Covids. So it's a safety advantage.