And just like that all my free time went up in a puff of smoke due to this freaking "word puzzle"

We had plans with Bruce and Nardo to go to dinner on a Saturday night a couple weeks ago. Bruce called me around four. I know! Bruce never calls. Which is exactly what he said when I picked up the phone, so color me gripped with anxiety. 

He said he had covid. Dinner plans canceled. 

Don't get me wrong, Tom and I still went out and had a lovely dinner at the Burmese place up the block. But  I texted Bruce and Nardo to ask how their evening was going. Nardo said he had looked up a word puzzle to work on.

A word puzzle? 

Not a digital word puzzle mind you, but old school analog. Like from a word puzzle workbook. Huh.... ok. Bait taken. 

What word puzzle, I asked.

I should not have asked. Everybody including myself is well aware I lean OCD.

A word puzzle for the insane.

Are you kidding me with this word puzzle? 

Cutting to the chase, I solved it.

I was literally up all night for maybe two days, but I solved the fucker. 

It was not a low carbon footprint endeavor. While muttering curses, I scribbled and crossed off scribbles on the backs of all envelopes lying around on our counter + the side of my desk blotter + filled up probably half a notebook.

But one page of thousands, wherein many attempts
were made and many attempts did not succeed 
to solve this goddamn word puzzle.

The following week, we were hanging out on Long Beach at Stacie and Andy's annual thing I look forward to every year. I mentioned to Jeff that I'd just been entangled in this word puzzle. He wanted to know what the word puzzle was, but I am a kind and generous soul, so I gave him an easier word puzzle that you have to know how to solve if you're going to solve Nardo's insane word puzzle.

Here's the easier puzzle:

You are in a gladiators ring. There are two doors out. One door leads to freedom, the other to jail. There are two guards, one in front of each door. One guard only tells the truth, the other only lies. You do not know which guard is which, or which door is which. You are allowed to ask one guard one question and then choose which door to go through.

It's like the Pythagorean theorem or some corollary or calculus theorem, and thank the puzzle gods I'd run across it before, because otherwise I'd probably be dead now. The word puzzle would have fried my brain.

Jeff made short work of the easier puzzle, which is pretty impressive. I don't think I figured that one out by myself. Then again, I was in junior high at the time, so I feel justified giving myself a mulligan. Jeff said he wanted me to send him the harder puzzle. I sent it to him. 

And I have not heard from him since. I hope he's still alive.