Your father claps when he sleeps

Mom, Dad, Tom and I roundtable Mom's declaration:

"Dad has the clap?"

"Yes."

"No I don't have the clap."

"He sleeps on his back with shorts on and he's going like this, clap clap clap, with his legs. It's really loud."

"Your mother exaggerates. I was just dehydrated."

"Maybe duct tape some throw pillows to his knees."

"You could just duct tape my legs together."

"That would be easier. Except when you have to get up to go to the bathroom."

"He can just hop like a frog."

"If Dad puts cymbals between his knees he can join a monkey brass band."