Diary of a Geriatric Scarlet: November 11, 2050

Today is Corduroy Appreciation Day for it is 11|11 - the Day that Looks the Most Like Corduroy. I am, and have long been, a most ardent fan of corduroy.

I arise at 10am and don a pair of tan corduroy pants, a fine purple corduroy blouse and a brown corduroy blazer with a rose corduroy pocket square. Then I set out to Macy's, Saks and Bloomingdales... as I do every year. In my houndstooth corduroy bag, I carry a stack of printed invitations to Corduroy Appreciation Club.

I take the elevator up to the floors of fashion. Browsing the racks, I slip invitations into pockets of corduroy garments.

I take my luncheon at Saks, which I envision as similar to Breakfast at Tiffany's except there are actual tables because Saks has a restaurant. Breakfast at Tiffany's always struck me as one of those adventures that sounds simply lovely in theory, but in practice is Clif Bar crumbs on glass counters and dirty looks from razor-eyed salesgirls.