The Invisible Man meets the Bed Bug Oven

A couple weekends ago, we went to see the Invisible Man with Stacie and Andy. We went down to the big fancy theater in FiDi that you can get to if you walk through the Oculus from the Fulton Street station. Andy always leads the way, he knows the route like the back of his hand. This is an amazing option when it's freezing or pouring outside. You can go like 40 blocks indoors and stop along the way for snacks and a drink.

Tom said the Invisible Man movie was predictable but I disagreed. I never go see those kinds of movies because they make my heart palpitate. Therefore, I had no idea what was going to happen next. Frankly, going in, I thought the whole movie was going to be about race relations in 50s America. 

Anyway, when we got home after the wildly unpredictable show, I said we should strip down and break out the bed bug oven. Everybody knows bedbugs love theaters.

Yes, we have a bed bug oven. I'm terrified of getting bedbugs and this oven is a preventative measure. Don't judge, it has worked so far.

Here's a picture of a later model than what we have:

A later model than our bedbug oven.

Tom was all like, "Seriously?! Shouldn't you be worried about the corona virus right now?"

All I was thinking was that it would be fucking horrible to get quarantined at home WITH BEDBUGS. Can you imagine? It's like right out of a cult movie about hell.

So we put everything we wore to the theater in the bedbug oven. It has to cook at 200 degrees for four hours so any vermin die complete and irreversible deaths. I don't put anything past bed bugs. Those little freaks are practically immortal. I'm surprised silver bullets and garlic aren't involved in the baking process.

Meanwhile, Tom waltzes out in a pair of boxer briefs with a camouflage design.

I ask him if he's trying to be invisible. It made sense at the time, because we had just seen the Invisible Man and all.

He nods.

I didn't tell him I could still see him. I was trying to be super nice because he had just humored me and stripped down and put all his clothes in the bed bug oven.