Choose Your Weapon

Some girl clutching an electrical power strip stole my new t-shirt!

Four important things happened this week:

1. Andrew & Tracie rummaged the sublunary world and ferreted out some ace birthday gifts.
   

I received a green t-shirt that even a 14th level Elven thief would eyeball for a snatch. Maybe even one with a six-prong power strip style cudgel.

I wore said t-shirt all day on Sunday and all day on Monday. My Anti- Antiperspirant Campaign prevented me from sporting my new garment again today because I had to put it in the wash.

Tracie also carried around a print by a Hong Kong artist all over Asia for me and the frame isn't even cracked. Proof-positive of exceptional packing talent.

1. I think I chipped my tooth on an Atomic Fireball. This #2 incident sucks like the super sucker which is the Atomic Fireball.
   
2. The Tinkerbell sticker Lea gave me for peeing in the potty is still stuck to the side of my sneaker. Good news except every time I inadvertently kick myself in the head (can you say Pilates?), my eyeballs register Tink and my bladder requests a little quality time. So inconvenient.
   
3. The big finale one is that my little brother and Mary's unborn twins are probably going to shuttlecock to freedom any day now. Sethie said to tote my cell phone around at all times and further, to make sure it is turned on. He knows I am really good about not hyperventilating when confronted with bodily fluids or the solid potential for bodily fluids. It wasn't my fault I flunked Girl Scout First Aid. That only happened because I had to vanish into a safehouse when I cut up my great-grandmother's linen tablecloth to make a tourniquet and my mom went all eastside/westside on my ass. No, for reals, I wouldn't be anywhere else on the big birth day.