Enter the Dehydrator - (No)NaBloPoMo Day 11
A few months ago I went back to that doctor, the one who looked at my tongue, shook his head in dismay and proceeded to write me "prescriptions" for books I should read, vitamins I should take, and key dietary edits.
Among other strong suggestions, the doctor said to drink celery juice in the morning. "Fresh," he said.
So I went home and bought a juicer and some celery.
I learned pretty quick that when juicing, there's pulp left over. A lot of pulp. Like you wind up with more left over than you do in your juice glass. Of course this was a problem for me. I'm not going to buy celery and throw away a whole bowl full of perfectly good mashed stalk.
Some other thrifty type must have solved this problem, I thought because I trust the interwebs like that. My instincts were spot on. There are pages of juice pulp recipes. A lot of them are for crackers. Juice pulp crackers.
Delicious, I thought!
The recipes recommended using a food dehydrator for the crackers. But most said that if you were so out of it that you didn't have a dehydrator, you could stick the crackers in the oven at the lowest possible temperature for approximately a fortnight.
I tried this. And the crackers always turned out more like floppers. There was nothing crackly about them. Maybe the oven never totally cleared out all the moisture or something. I told Tom they were fruit roll-ups. Except not fruit. They were small rectangular fruit roll-ups made out of celery.
I ate them myself, is the bottomline.
I told Tom I really needed to get a food dehydrator because, seriously, crackers. He rolled his eyes and pointed to my blender (important!), my instant pot (best thing ever!) and the new juicer (doctor-recommended!). He asked where we might put this new appliance.
I reminded him that he wanted to get a new toaster. Also an appliance. He said, get this, that when he got the new toaster, he would throw out the old toaster so the purchase would be appliance neutral and also. Our old toaster had gone up in flames on more than one occasion. He seemed to think this was a good justification. Srsly.
Meanwhile, I logged into Amazon and stared longingly at the food dehydrators.
Kerry said Susan had the Excalibur and she said it was great. It's expensive though. I didn't pull the trigger for a couple more months of soggy crackers.
But then, Labor Day rolled around and guess what? There was a huge Labor Day sale. Perfect timing for Labor Day gift giving! I bought myself a food dehydrator.
I think it already paid for itself.
The crackers are amazing! Plus we'll be fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse.
Among other strong suggestions, the doctor said to drink celery juice in the morning. "Fresh," he said.
 |
| Leprechauns invented celery juice. |
I learned pretty quick that when juicing, there's pulp left over. A lot of pulp. Like you wind up with more left over than you do in your juice glass. Of course this was a problem for me. I'm not going to buy celery and throw away a whole bowl full of perfectly good mashed stalk.
Some other thrifty type must have solved this problem, I thought because I trust the interwebs like that. My instincts were spot on. There are pages of juice pulp recipes. A lot of them are for crackers. Juice pulp crackers.
Delicious, I thought!
The recipes recommended using a food dehydrator for the crackers. But most said that if you were so out of it that you didn't have a dehydrator, you could stick the crackers in the oven at the lowest possible temperature for approximately a fortnight.
I tried this. And the crackers always turned out more like floppers. There was nothing crackly about them. Maybe the oven never totally cleared out all the moisture or something. I told Tom they were fruit roll-ups. Except not fruit. They were small rectangular fruit roll-ups made out of celery.
I ate them myself, is the bottomline.
I told Tom I really needed to get a food dehydrator because, seriously, crackers. He rolled his eyes and pointed to my blender (important!), my instant pot (best thing ever!) and the new juicer (doctor-recommended!). He asked where we might put this new appliance.
I reminded him that he wanted to get a new toaster. Also an appliance. He said, get this, that when he got the new toaster, he would throw out the old toaster so the purchase would be appliance neutral and also. Our old toaster had gone up in flames on more than one occasion. He seemed to think this was a good justification. Srsly.
Meanwhile, I logged into Amazon and stared longingly at the food dehydrators.
 |
| The Excalibur Food Dehydrator |
But then, Labor Day rolled around and guess what? There was a huge Labor Day sale. Perfect timing for Labor Day gift giving! I bought myself a food dehydrator.
I think it already paid for itself.
 |
| potato chips, apple rings, pineapple rings, banana chips. |
The crackers are amazing! Plus we'll be fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse.
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