Tom v Old Lady - NaBloPoMo Day 16

The facts are, it's pretty impossible to win the lottery to get into the NYC Marathon if you live in NYC. Or anywhere else that is not exotic, at least in the eyes of race officials.

The workaround is to do a "9+1." Meaning if you join the New York Road Runners club and, within one calendar year, run nine of their races and volunteer at one more, you auto-qualify for the marathon the following year.

Tom decided he wants to run the marathon next year, so he signed on for the 9+1 plan.

Last Saturday was Tom's "+1". He volunteered to help out at a pretty massive 5k in the park. This 5k is kind of a tradition. It happens the day before the marathon, so finishers cross the same finish line as the marathoners and run through the stands and all the hoopla set up for the marathon. Except they only have to run 5k instead of 26 miles so by all accounts this is a very clever maneuver.


Tom got down to the race area at some ungodly hour. They gave him a fluorescent green reflective vest and a hat. Turns out, most of the volunteers did not get a vest. They just got the hat. So Tom was a very special volunteer. At least by all appearances. Someone told him to stand by the finish and make sure the area stayed clear of spectators, etc.

Then the cops came by and closed the barricades around the finish line. Tom was now barricaded onto the race course. Which made him look even more special and official. A security guard asked him a question about what should go where. Tom shrugged and answered the question. More people started asking questions. Tom answered the questions. Tom starts feeling the power of his vest.

At the very end of the race, an old lady moseys up with her walker and says she wants to cross the race course. Right at the finish line. Tom hooks his thumbs in his vest and says she has two options. She can wait until the ambulance goes by, meaning the race is over because the ambulance is behind all the runners. Or, she can go around the back of the finish line and cross that way, which wouldn't be far out of the old lady's way. He also points to the ambulance. It's coming around the corner and would be by in five minutes, tops.

The old lady is pissed. She always crosses the park right here, she does not want to go around and she wants to cross immediately.

Tom says it isn't safe to cross immediately, but if she waits four minutes....

The old lady gives Tom the what for. She is ten shades of not happy. She tells him where he can stick his safety concerns. She tells him she always walks out into the middle of traffic.

By that time the ambulance goes by. Tom strips off his fluorescent green reflective vest and it's Tom. Out.

He has no idea what the old lady did, but he thinks she went out on the race course and wobbled across the finish line. He says he suspects that was her sneaky plan all along.


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