Mostly Failing the Test at the Salon - NaBloPoMo Day 19
I went to the salon up the street to have my hair colored. I've been going there for idk five years? And I have this running passive aggressive battle with them.
Tbh I think I am the only one aware there is a fight ongoing, so not sure what you call it when you are the only combatant. Probably something like "punching yourself in the face" but who am I to speculate.
The non-actual-fight is about the salon policy that if you don't pay for it separately, they won't blow dry your hair for you at the end. I guess at some point, they realized they were giving what amounts to a free blow-out and other people charge a lot of money for blow outs, so, three points for capitalism?
Upon reflection, I'm not sure why this bothers me as much as it bothers me. It might be because if you do decide to pay to have someone blow dry your hair, it's always going to be one of the assistants, and frankly, they're still assistants for a reason. I feel like I'm part of their training regimen and results are.... varied.
Also sometimes they trick you. Like someone wanders up and asks if you want your hair blowdried like they're planning on doing you a favor. Sometimes they are actually doing you a favor and they don't charge you. Other times they do. And then when they do, it's doubly obnoxious because you feel like your new friendship with the salon assistant has been cruelly revealed as completely transactional.
So let me get to the part about this whole goings-on I actually wanted to write about. If you elect *not* to get someone to blow dry your hair on your behalf, they set you up with a little styling station all your own.
It's a big salon with lots of professional hair stylists. |
They lead you over to an empty salon station. They hand you a hair dryer and a brush and maybe a product someone has selected for you, like a spray or a potion of some kind, and then they walk away.
Ummm. OK here we go! I pick up the mysterious jar/bottle/can of whatever has been left on the table for me and attempt to read the label. Or not. Usually I don't bother and just spray the shit out of my head. Inevitably someone will run over and say that "more is not better." Ha ha, says you.
Unfortunately, I now have the eye of the entire room when I attempt to turn on the blow dryer. It's usually harder than an on button with these fancy blow dryers. It also takes some coordination to use a brush and a blow dryer at the same time, so I usually put off the brush part until I can feel the pressure growing around me and their silent pleas.
Everyone gets desperate for me to use the goddamn available brush already. |
So I pick up the brush and pretend like I actually blow dry my hair on a regular basis, which of course I do not because I am far too lazy for that kind of time investment and learning curve. I work from home don't give me grief.
This last time at the salon, my stylist came up to me at the end to inquire how I liked my color. I said, love it, except what's with all these frizzy ends? She said, yeah, you failed to blow dry your hair properly like a normal person. (She didn't actually say that, but the look in her eyes was of someone in terrible pain.)
Anyway, she whipped the blow dryer out of my hands and blew dry half my head for me.
I feel like I won this round.
Comments