NaBloPoMo Day 20: You know you're special when...

...you get spam in two languages. 

My email is a veritable fiesta platter of irresistible offers pouring in from all across the globe.

How heartwarming to be loved by parties near and far -- who are clearly exceptional at tracking my whereabouts online and/or offline. So kind of them to offer, but obviously I have no need for a home alarm with so many concerned citizens all over the world privy to my goings on.